Well, it’s more doctor appointments this week. I meet with the pain clinic today, in about an hour and a half. I have a mammogram on Wednesday to see what these lumps are in my breast and and armpit. I meet with a surgeon on Friday, to see about closing a fistula that won’t heal (yay butt surgery)… And I get to see my counselor tomorrow for the second time. Also, Thursday night I have a class. It is going to be a busy week for me.
I got to see my best friend this weekend. My soul now feels at ease physically seeing her and hugging her and crying with her. I do feel as though she’s the cuter, younger, smarter sister I never had. My parents see her as another child to them. And although our visit was short, and she brought her boyfriend and his daughter with her, so it’s not like we had any alone time, I think it did my soul better than any prescription could in the way of feeling better. I love that woman. She’s an inspiration, and she makes me want to be a better person.
I am a little nervous about the pain clinic, it is my first visit and I have no idea what to expect. I do know we have some strict laws about opiates in our state, and those are the only things that work on my breakthrough pain. But I am not a candidate for narcotics treatments because, well, if they test my urine or blood for illicit drugs, they will find I test positive for marijuana. If you test positive for any illegal substances you cannot, by law, be prescribed narcotics. Which I understand, pill seekers and other drug users have ruined it for the people who medicinally use weed.
It gives me an appetite, reduces anxiety, and elevates my mood and sense of wellbeing. It calms the intestinal spasms and dulls the aches and pains of swollen ligaments and tendons. It greatly reduces my need for pain medication, and the side effects include dry mouth and absurd giggling. Better than the side effects of anything anyone could prescribe me. It is effective for me, and just because we don’t live in a legal state, I am going to have to choose between pharmaceuticals and Mary Jane.
I did get my homework done for Tuesday, but I have not done all of my homework for my new job. I need to write up a writing sample to apply for the job of social media consultant with the education side and the retail side of the business. I also need to print some stuff out, as well as run some research and development for the education side. I am excited about the opportunities this job is giving me. And to clarify, it is a volunteer position at this point, but I will be compensated for any curriculum I write and any materials I need for research and development.
I have been practicing mindfulness, and catching myself with negative thoughts and redirecting the negativity with positivity. It was hard at first, but research says it takes 21 days to make anything a habit. I have two more weeks and it should be a habit to look at the bright side of things. I am optimistic about this cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness redirection. It is going to come in handy when I quit cigarettes, and in just about every other aspect in my life. I think I really like my counselor. She’s really mellow and thorough. She jumps back and forth while talking but she seems to get a lot of information out of me. I know it takes time to establish your background and what makes you tick when meeting with a new counselor, so I am not going to gage my treatment just yet. But seriously looking forward to the positive changes she is bringing into my life.
Speaking of changes, there are some big changes coming to my life here shortly. Today is not the time to go into details about these changes, but soon my whole world will be turned upside down. It’s like waiting for a tattoo, I know the needle is coming for my skin, I anticipate it, I know it’s going to hurt, and all I can do is sit there and wait for the tattoo artist tune his machine, with my eyes closed and my heart racing. I hope it is much smoother and painless than I expect it to be. Rather, I hope the tattoo is on my upper outside arm, not the elbow this time. (Tattooed folks will get the analogy.)
Well, I should post this and get ready for the pain clinic. Check back often for updates on my life, opinions, trials and tribulations. Thank you once again for reading; I do appreciate your time. Also, feel free to ask any questions or comment, interaction is always encouraged! Have a great day!